ANXIETY

TREMBLES RIPPLE THROUGH

TEMPERATURE INCREASED

HEART RATE JUMPING...

FEELS LIKE AN ETERNAL ERUPTION,

LIKE AN UNDERWATER VOLCANO,

NEVER SEEN TILL THE LIQUID FIRE BURNS.

So again here we go. Once again I have allowed someone in. A person with intentions for only themselves. You show yourself as this nice person, but inside hmm. Who knows? Well I've been slow, but now I know. I know that you talk a good one. You set so many goals and, but then you sit back and watch opportunities slip away. Bleh, burp, fart, I did my part.

Who You?

There's something fishy about you.
You think I don't have a clue.
But always remember Who,
Is always watching, True?

Dream come true

The moment I wake up, my thoughts are of you.

For so long, I thought it could not be true.

A beautiful gift is what you are, Boo.

The moment I see you, my heart beats fast.

A smile spreads across my face, just want this to last.

Baby steps, moving further from the past.

The moment I hear you, sends tingles down my spine.

Like an aphrodisiac, relaxing like fine wine.

To feel like I do, just hope you co-sign.

The moment I smell you, my knees start to shake.

One look out the window, no not an earthquake.

Such a wonderful scent, oh for heavens sake.

The moment I feel you, my body ignites.

The look in your eyes excites....me like no other.

You take me to immeasurable heights.

The moment I taste you, I am ready to explode.

Shh, a lady never kisses and tells, follow the code.

Will save the conclusion for the next episode.

4:31AM, Standing @my workstation

As I stand here, I try not to watch the clock. So many thoughts are running thru my head. I am here, yet I am not. On the outside, I am calm, stone faced as a fellow employee passes. He mistakes my concentrated expression for anger. Is it that obvious? Do I really exude anger? As I stand here writing, faintly listening to the lobby music as it plays.

Bored, my head hurts.
Tired, my feet hurt.
Sad, my heart hurts.
Angry, my fist hurt.
Hurt hurts, hmm.
Pass along,
Wait it out.
Just wanna shout.

Repost it again

I have to post this again. I have to remind myself what was my goals, when I wrote this entry. I must refocus. And start over. I have spent months once again over exerting myself to make someone else happy. When all along all I need to do was make me happy. The time is now. My all I will put into God. I give my all to the Lord, and He will lead me where I need to go. I pray now that I make better choices this time around. It's time to break the pattern.

"This New Year I will have no resolutions. Why wait for Jan 1st. My goals I have realised, and what better time to start than now? All year round I know what I should do, what I want to do, and what I need to do. So for 2010, I will not make hype about changing myself. I will be the same Me. Like fine wine I will be better as each second, minute, hour, day, week, month, year passes. "