4:31AM, Standing @my workstation

As I stand here, I try not to watch the clock. So many thoughts are running thru my head. I am here, yet I am not. On the outside, I am calm, stone faced as a fellow employee passes. He mistakes my concentrated expression for anger. Is it that obvious? Do I really exude anger? As I stand here writing, faintly listening to the lobby music as it plays.

Bored, my head hurts.
Tired, my feet hurt.
Sad, my heart hurts.
Angry, my fist hurt.
Hurt hurts, hmm.
Pass along,
Wait it out.
Just wanna shout.

Repost it again

I have to post this again. I have to remind myself what was my goals, when I wrote this entry. I must refocus. And start over. I have spent months once again over exerting myself to make someone else happy. When all along all I need to do was make me happy. The time is now. My all I will put into God. I give my all to the Lord, and He will lead me where I need to go. I pray now that I make better choices this time around. It's time to break the pattern.

"This New Year I will have no resolutions. Why wait for Jan 1st. My goals I have realised, and what better time to start than now? All year round I know what I should do, what I want to do, and what I need to do. So for 2010, I will not make hype about changing myself. I will be the same Me. Like fine wine I will be better as each second, minute, hour, day, week, month, year passes. "

Reclaim

You are such a strong person, physically and mentally.
You have so much to live for, so much to work for.
You stand out among the masses.
And because of that you become the center of focus.
You are magnetic and obstacles will be attracted.
Take time to filter out the good from the bad.
Listen to your instincts.
Pray to God to guide your path.
He will show you what you need to know.
You have free will, pay attention, follow,
and make your own decisions accordingly.
It is also your choice to turn away,
and falter down the wrong path. Remember,
"Light does not always equate to good,
Darkness does not always equate to bad."
Know your worth, and never let anyone steal your strength.
You know who you are, and what you are able to do.
The time is now, find your way.

Claim your success.

Just a random rant

Take a look at Life,
Life today,
Life of oneself,
Life of another,
A sister, or brother.
Take time to hug her.
Live life.
Go thru pain.
Go thru strife.
Work hard,
Work steady,
Be ready for your success.

New year new me

This New Year I will have no resolutions. Why wait for Jan 1st. My goals I have realised, and what better time to start than now? All year round I know what I should do, what I want to do, and what I need to do. So for 2010, I will not make hype about changing myself. I will be the same Me. Like fine wine I will be better as each second, minute, hour, day, week, month, year passes.

Too much

Is it too much to ask you for you?
All of you as you are.

Is it too much to ask to hear you say good morning?
Awakening my spirits, wishing me good day.

Is it to much to ask to see you smile at me?
Beautiful expression showing your happy to see me.

Is it too much to ask feel your arms around me?
To feel the warmth and security of your embrace.

Is it too much to ask to smell your cologne?
A comforting scent that heightens my arousal.

Is it too much to ask to taste your lips?
With one sweet kiss, an exchange of emotional bliss.

Is it too much to say I miss you?
Should I expect to here that you miss me too?

Is it too much to say that I've fallen in love with you? Tho at this point I wish I could fall out of it. Wish I could move on. Soon enough and in due time I will.
Once I move on...

Will you ask for me.
All of me as I am?

Will you want to say good morning?
But have lost touch with me.

Will you want to see me smile?
Only to have the memory captured in a photo.

Will you want to smell my perfume?
Instead to have the stale smell of NY air invade your nostrils.

Will you want to feel me rub your back?
Only to feel a chill as you remove your shirt.

Will you try to recapture the taste of my kiss.
Long lost and no longer lingering.

Will time be enough to fade these feelings?
Will it answer these questions?